I'm a young attending, woman of color and a few years out of residency in a surgical specialty. I am currently the only female and the youngest doctor in my department (of 7 other surgeons) in a very busy, large teaching hospital.
Over the many years of school and training, I've had my fair share of being brushed aside or called something other than a doctor by patients and staff because of my gender and youthful appearance and it never bothered me.
However, I feel very disrespected when other doctors, very often older and male both within and outside of my department, treat me as if I am somehow less than my male counterparts in the same specialty. Like cutting me off mid sentence, rudely interrupting my conversations so a question can be asked to the male colleague I was speaking to, being berated like a resident if there is a small gap in communication. When I express my woes within my department, some try to sympathize and others just dont understand what the problem is because its never happened to them.
I think I am a good doctor/surgeon and a genuine person. I am still very young in this profession ,but I try my best every day to smile, be efficient and do right by the patient. I love my job and am so very honored and grateful every day that I get to do what I do. I get good feedback from patients, staff and my colleagues about my work ethic and quality of work I perform daily.
I know the the above examples seem so small and like NBD and I'd like to think their actions are subconscious and part of an implicit bias. But it chips away at my moral bit by bit and I just end up feeling so disappointed. Worst of all, I find I am losing confidence in myself and my abilities because of it.
Has anyone else felt this way? Does it feel way worse when it's not coming from patients but other doctors? Am I just overreacting or taking it the wrong way?
I cannot change what they do/say (hopefully, the culture shifts as more women enter medicine) but I would like some guidance on how I can improve my outlook on it so I can try to gain some of that confidence back.
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