I'm hoping I can get some help here regarding this feeling of mascarading as an expert. I am a fairly new attending in a procedural subspecialty at a large semi-academic hospital. For the last few weeks I have been experiencing anxiety about my skills and knowledge level after stopping a procedure during which I felt that I wasn't going to be able to complete it and cause more issues. I keep encountering things I never saw or learnt in fellowship or being faced to do procedures that I had very little volume in during training. I have been reading and watching videos and have looked into some workshops to enhance those skills. However, I have ended up referring a few people to more experienced people and constantly have this feeling of failure each time I call to refer out. I feel judged by the assistant and nurses during the procedure as well as by colleagues and fellow surgeons who refer to me and then I am unable to do the thing they requested. I will admit that 1 or 2 things that I failed at were certainly complex and there have been procedures I've done which have been complex and I've done them well. But I can't shake the feeling and now experiencing anxiety and hesitation when booking similar procedures which I've failed at in the past. What should I do?
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