Ok, so I am going through a paradigm shift. I want to dissociate with my mind (ego), but I am kind of in the middle of this whole thing. Like I feel very calm yet very empty. I have started meditating recently because I am tired of wanting things from this life and suffering when it is not going my way. Yet, after a couple of days into this, I am already missing the thrill of life, or the ego. I miss dressing up (I still look presentable, but I don’t obsess too much over my looks), miss having some competition, miss having aspirations and dreams. I know spiritual people say that you still have aspirations, but don’t depend on them for happiness, but I don’t know, it kind of takes the thrill away. But simultaneously, I feel a sense of calmness that I haven’t felt in….years. I feel like I am very worthy despite whatever happens in my life, and I am not taking life too seriously. So I just want to ask serious meditators some questions:
Do you care about vanity now? Do you still look nice, but just for yourself now, not to impress others?
What about aspirations and dreams? I know meditation is about living in the present moment, but I am sure there are things you still look forward to right?
Do you even have a personality anymore? Did your friends and family notice a change in how you react to things? Do you laugh, initiate conversations, judge at all?
What hobbies do you like? Did you lose interest in TV/media like I did? Do you still hang out with friends that much?
If meditation is about realizing your divine self, what exactly is the purpose of living in this human body? Why not just commit suicide then, peacefully of course? (I am not suicidal, don’t worry)
What exactly is the purpose of life for you now?
How do you ignore negativity in your external environment? What’s your reaction? Do you just zone out?
Do you really see everyone as equal now, or you still tend to judge by what you see with your eyes?
Sorry guys, I got a very curious mind and I am a newbie 😂
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