With jolly smiles they saunter in,
Ready for their annual review to begin.
Expecting compliments and words of praise,
And the news that their HbA1c hasn’t raised.
You get up the results and show them the graph,
They are agog, they are aghast.
The line graph shows a sharp rise,
As their HbA1c climbs to the skies.
They are convinced that this reading must be wrong,
As they’ve been good the whole year long.
“The lab must be faulty” they’re on a roll,
There’s no way that their diabetes isn’t under control.
Don’t worry its fixable you start to say,
Hurrying to put the offending graph away.
It all comes down to diet and lifestyle,
Let’s chat about that and give it a trial.
They’ve heard this before and have already tried it,
Changes to lifestyle and alterations to diet.
That’s the point they say, the problem they cry,
I can’t begin to fathom why.
My HbA1c hasn’t dropped down,
When all the bread I’ve been eating is brown.
I haven’t touched sweets, I haven’t touched cakes,
Apart from the ones that my friend Marie makes.
She drops them round twice a week they beam,
Covered in jam and icing and cream.
But I only have one slice along with a cuppa,
(With three cubes of sugar added to fill me ‘til supper).
But apart from that, I’m very strict,
No treats for me, not even a bic.
It’s always healthy – salads and fruit,
Different types of veg – leafy and root.
You smile encouragingly, that’s good you say,
Well it definitely sounds like you’re on your way.
It’s important to eat a good balance,
Of grains and meat and leafy plants.
I know they say and that’s why I’ve tried,
To have at least three carrots on the side.
Of my daily roasted potatoes, gravy and meat,
And I’ve cut down to only one Yorkshire pudding they bleat.
I don’t smoke anymore or drink a drop,
All of my bad habits I’ve given the chop.
Unless I’m down at the pub with the boys,
Because after all isn’t it one of life’s joys.
Just a quick puff or a small drink,
I’ll be back to healthy before you can blink.
Just a pint or two (or three or four),
Once I get home I wont have anymore.
I only have dessert on days ending in y,
And even then it’s just apple pie.
Nothing with it, no custard or ice-cream,
As they go on, you’re sensing a theme.
Their intentions are good, their attitudes earnest,
But their diets haven’t quite been the sternest.
They’re looking at you with defeat in their eyes,
Confused about why their HbA1c is still on the rise.
You need some more time to set them straight,
But you’re already running fifteen minutes late.
Their diet isn’t quite to size,
And you haven’t even touched on exercise.
Habits of a lifetime need to change,
An exercise plan you need to arrange.
But you’ve still got eight more patients to see,
All of whom have a similar history.
You glance at your notes and give them a smile,
Tell them to keep up what they’re doing for the while.
“I’m sure you’ll get it right but until you do,
Why don’t I book you in for a six monthly review?”
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