Hi there, just looking for advise from medical professionals whom might’ve been in a similar situation. This is long, bear with me.
I’m a third year student nurse who has recently started practicum. During my shift, I bumped into my old neighbour (lived next to him 4-5 years ago). Let’s call him MR T. I wouldn’t say we were very close, but definitely friendly towards one another and he often let me use his pool in the summer and on the occasion we would have a couple of wines since we both share a love for red wine. I moved away and contact dissipated naturally.
When we bumped into each other after he gave me a huge hug in front of all the nurses and house officers, after a quick catch up he invited me out to lunch. I declined as I had already had my lunch break and wasn’t due for another one. He was fine about it and gave me a hug goodbye and told me it was due time for catch up drinks. When I returned to the nursing station I could feel a sudden shift from my preceptor and the other nurses. They asked me how I know him, and I explained he’s an old neighbour. They all rolled their eyes at me. It was pretty uncomfortable. An hour later my preceptor pulled me aside and told me to be “careful” because that particular surgeon is dating a clinical nurse leader, and that it looks bad on my part if I’m seen at lunch with him.
I understand, that’s cool.
Next morning I’m doing some paperwork and MR T phones the nursing station to ask if I’m there. After finding out I am he walks in and invites me to spend the morning shift doing his rounds and wants to show me a robotics machine he’s using to perform surgery. I obviously hesitate, and he perhaps mistakes this hesitation as me having to perform student nurse duties instead. My preceptor was with me at the time and he then asks her if it’s ok if I go with him, explaining it would be a great opportunity for me, she agrees, seems friendly about it towards him and I go off with him. Whilst extremely educational, it was awkward and I’m sure the house officers and registrars were wondering why I was hanging around on the rounds.
Anyways, in the afternoon I return to my ward, and the negative atmosphere towards me is incredibly obvious. All the nurses are outright ignoring me, my preceptor is cold and short with me. I asked her about it and she explained that part of being a nurse is to know when not to cause ruffles and waves in the industry and that I should’ve declined the rounds with MR T. I have to be honest, I nearly teared up. At this point I’m really frustrated. She then storms out, leaving me with no idea how to handle this. I then attend to patients and she and the other nurses start to put me down in front of them, making me feel incompetent.
I keep my cool and decide that if this behaviour continues, I will contact my school to be moved. Then as my shift is ending, Mr T comes back into the ward, inviting me out for drinks with him and his house officers. Fuck. I told him I’ve already got plans. I was clearly visibly tense as I knew all the other nurses were watching.
A few hours later after my shift ended he called me, wanting to know if I was ok and if something happened, I explained to him that I don’t think it’s appropriate for us to interact too much while I’m on practicum due to hospital gossip and the fact he’s dating a clinical nurse leader. He becomes upset, explains he went on two dates weeks apart with this clinical nurse leader and that shouldn’t stop him from helping and talking to an old friend. I tell him not to worry about it, that we can be friends outside of work.
I’m now on my next shift and my preceptor has pulled me aside telling me everyone knows I’m the reason Mr T has dumped the clinical nurse leader and that this has now become a situation and that she has contacted the nursing school and thinks that it’s no longer appropriate for to work in the hospital.
I’m currently in the toilet, crying, wondering whether it’s possible for me to complete this practicum in another setting as this is the only hospital in my area and my practicum has to be in a hospital setting. I’m hoping I can explain everything to my school, I’m unsure whether they will support me. What’s my next move, and how do I fix this??
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